He's Gone, but Still Here
by ir4u2nv
Summary: REDID Jesse gone but Susannah has to go on. She like every other 24 year old. She has letting go issues, going to school part time and having your son be the reincarnation of your former sole mate. Oh ya her 5 year old son father is Paul Slater.
1. A Confession of a Fellow Shifter

Chapter 1

"A Confession of a Fellow Shifter"

A/N hello Alanna here I just want to say that I'm changing He's Gone but Still Here. All new chapters, new plots and longer chapters ok here is the new and approved He's Gone but Still Here. Also I have a friend that is going to share my account. Her name is Michelle.

Disclaimer- I don't own any of Meg's characters like Paul, Suze, Jesse (who shows up in the story only a handful of times), Oliver Slaski, Jack and the Ackerman family. But I made up The Man, Hector Slater, Gabriella, Francesca, and other characters.

Hello one and all. You may not know me but I have a tale to tell that should go down in history. Well my story does go down in history but not the kind of history that you would know or believe of. It's a tale of love, action, drama and the supernatural.

You may think this is a work of fiction but it not. Many people, mainly the government, want you to believe this is a work of fiction and that's why this is my duty to tell you the truth and this story.

At this point I prefer to be anonymous for safety reasons. I'm not the only one who has tried to tell the truth but he went the wrong way and he was labeled a mental person and the shame pushed his son to change their name. This man is Oliver Slaski. All his life he looked for the answers of what he is.

Oliver starts my story off. The Slaski family has showed up in history many times over centuries. They were always millionaires and always lived the life of luxury. They were very spoiled but still the oldest son took over the family business not matter what. Oliver was going to take it over but the day before he was going to get the company he decided to search the world for answers of want he was.

The truth was in Egypt. He found in ancient Egypt they had sprit guilders or "Shifters" that made sure a sprit made it to the afterlife. They were like shamans for the Egyptians. These "Shifters" were paid a lot of money and well respected. When the Romans toke Egypt over the belief of "Shifters" was lost. The Romans didn't believe that the "Shifters" could see the sprits so the "Shifters" were taking of their power and were believed to be fake and ever since than the belief of sprits sort of faded into fiction and mythology.

When you think of ghost and sprits you think of sheet-like thing and only see them in stories, movies and Unsolved Mysteries but they're out there and they're everywhere. Oliver was one of these "Shifters" and he published books on his findings. His family was kicked out of society. His son was not taking seriously and changed his name to escape the shame. No matter how much Oliver wished his son didn't see the ghost and couldn't believe him. Soon after changing the family name his son, Rick, married and became a famous Seattle brain surgeon. His wife soon gave birth to a son, Paul.

Oliver had his wish come true in a way. Paul was a Shifter and Oliver taught Paul all he knew. He thought Paul wouldn't make some of the mistakes he made like believing that he was god and shifting too much. When Oliver wasn't there Paul used his powers for evil and made ghost his servants causing him to be in power by giving them a promise if they did do what he wanted they would pass on.

When Paul was 9 his parents had another son. The named him Jack. Jack turned out to be a mediator, which is like a Shifter but without the powers, and told everyone. His parents were afraid that he would turnout like Oliver so they put him in therapy. All their lives changed when the met a girl while they were having a family vacation.

This is not my story although I'm in the story it not mine. Who am I? Well let's just say this is a confession of a fellow Shifter.

A/N hey guys this chapter was longer than my other 1st chapter but still I can't reveal everything just now. All so if you read my first try at writing this I will show the prophecy in the next chapter also my next chapter will be longer. I'm also going to change my Susan Preston one.

NV me; -)


	2. Mother at 18

Chapter 2

"Mother at 18"

A/N hey guys well here is Chapter 2 that is longest chapter I made so far. Well I don't own any of Meg's characters and the song "I Swear" by All-4-One that I used in this chapter.

* * *

"Jesse, don't put rocks in your mouth. You could choke and die. Did you hear me? Die oh ya kid die did I stutter? No, die (**A/N little of my mom there**)." I said to my five-year-old son Hector Jesse Slater but we all call him Jesse.

"But mommy-" my son said giving me those sad eyes the he only uses when he wants something.

"Jesse you just can't put rocks in you mouth." I said stopping for a breath before I gave him the die speech. "Mommy its rock candy." He said before I could give my mini speech again.

"Jesse do you really think that if I put this in my mouth it will be chocolate?" I asked not believing a word he said. Ya so he gave me that sweet look that everyone just have to have a soft ahh escape their lips. Ya still not buying it, see when you have a five-year-old you have to be the archenemy to his superhero. The look they give you may loosen you a bit but you still have to firm but not to firm just firm. Just don't give in to the look

Well I let the look slide pass but when he gave me a nod of his head I gave in to my grudge and popped that rock in my mouth. Well that's just say that stupid rock betrayed me when I could taste a beautiful sensational chocolate taste filled my mouth.

Ya it was definitely French chocolate you can really tell it was carefully and lovely made to perfection. I just wonder how the French make it so perfectly with out having to taste it first so you can just make sure it was perfect. Well I just don't want to think some stupid French people ate my chocolate before I ate it. Well if it was some cute Frenchman. Ya if he had curly brown hair and ocean blue eyes- wait don't think about that Suze. Bad Suze, bad Suze.

"Well it was rock candy I guess." I said to my son laughing a little I mean you just have to laugh about that. Oh just shut up. Well Jesse didn't take like most five-year-olds would do when they found out their mother isn't always right. He just shrugged and said, "that was my last one," in his tiny voice and walked up the paved sidewalk up to his father's house.

Well if you meet Jesse you could say he's not a normal child much less a five-year-old. He looks like a five year old Paul, his father don't ask, he is about 3 foot with curly brown hair and green eyes, that's my boy, and can also see ghost when he was 11/2 but there is one thing that is just weird.

His attitude. Not only is he stubborn, sarcastic and like to kick ghosts, and neither can I tell who's side of the family did he get that from? But he could be such a charmer some times. I mean he even won over Sister Ernestine, which is like a miracle. I mean when I went into a teacher-parent conference the sister was there and she went on and on about how, such a Christian boy Jesse is and if she knew men like him where still alive she wouldn't have been a nun. I really didn't believe any of it because I know my son. He is no Christian boy and I pity any woman who marries him. He is like his father all-controlling and having to be always right about everything. That's why Paul it going to be a lawyer. Hey when Paul told me he wanted to be a lawyer I was all about time. A lawyer is and will always be Paul Slater

Well I guess your thinking how do you have a five-year-old because last time I checked you were in love with a ghost and hated Paul Slater. Well it's a long story…

* * *

Carmel 2002

Don't ask me how I got on Paul's bed even now I still don't know. I remember wondering if Spike needed more food or more cat litter. I was also randomly flipping the pages through one of Dr. Slaski's books on the techniques of shifting. Than Paul came in the room suddenly with out my diet coke he said he would get for me. "Paul, where is my diet coke?" I asked. Paul knew at this time of the day I need a refreshing diet coke to go about my day with a smile on my face that says the day is wonderful and bright.

"Suze I have something to say once and for all. I love you," he said. Well he said something along those lines because that line may have been my imagination on how I wish Jesse (**A/N: Jesse De Silva not Suze's son Jesse Slater**) would say when he felt like saying those three small words. Then my dream came true. I felt the kiss that just screams love. I've waited for this kiss my whole life that I just lost my self in the kiss. In my mind Paul's face melted away and Jesse's face appeared and I lost all senses. I gave Paul a part of myself that afternoon that I can never get back. The mark I made on his sheets proved to me that my virginity was gone and I could never get it back and give it to the one I love.

"Suze, I-" Paul started but I just cut him off by saying I "Paul, just forget it. I just want to go home, " after that said I got off the bed taking the sheet with my to cover me up until I could get my clothes back on. I felt dirty and all I wanted to do is get home to take a shower then lie down and go to sleep in the welcome of my own bed alone.

After I got home and took my shower I laid down on my bed staring at the ceiling thinking about what happened. I can't take all the blame and I can't give Paul all the blame. It took both of us to make love and we both when in it with open arms I reluctantly admitted to myself.

I some how made it, three months later, to the senior prom. My date was CeeCee and Adam who were really the real couple but they gave me pity and even let me be in their prom picture. Adam even tried to make it a joke by saying, "Guess there is going to be two beautiful Prom Queens with this handsome Prom King." And I must admit I laughed too.

"Wow Suze that was the only time you laughed for like three months and you are always throwing up. Maybe you need to go to the doctor. Hey you are acting like your pregnant, so does that mean ghost came reproduce?" CeeCee said.

I paled when the word pregnant came out of CeeCee's mouth. I couldn't be pregnant I just couldn't. Luckily CeeCee and Adam didn't see me pale because they were in deep conversation on what a baby made from a ghost and a living being would look and act like

From across the gym floor I saw Paul all alone. When his eyes caught mine he moved across the floor to me. "Want to dance?" he said me, " I know you're a lone wolf. Live alone die alone person but it's kind of lonely don't you think."

"Paul if I was a lone wolf I would like to be alone but I think a lone wolf would need some company once and a while," I said walking in Paul open hands. His hands closed around my body as the song came on. I leaned my head on his shoulder listening to the song I Swear by All-4-One and Paul whispering me the song in my ear

_I swear _

_By the moon and the stars _

_In the skies _

_And I swear _

_By the shadow by you side_

_I see the questions in your eyes _

_I know what's weighing on your mind_

_You can be sure I know my part_

_Cause I stand beside you through the years_

_You'll only cry those happy tears _

_Although I make mistakes I'll never break you heart_

_And I swear _

_By the moon and the stars _

_In the skies _

_I'll be there_

_And I swear _

_By the shadow by you side_

_I'll be there_

_For better or worse_

_Until deaths do us part_

_I'll love you will every beat of my heart_

_And I swear_

_I'll give you anything I can_

_I'll build your dreams with these two hands_

_We'll hang some memories on the walls_

And when just two of us are there

_You won't have to ask if I still care_

_Cause as time turns the page _

_My love won't age at all_

_And I swear _

_By the moon and the stars _

_In the skies _

_I'll be there_

_And I swear _

_By the shadow by you side_

_I'll be there_

_For better or worse_

_Until deaths do us part_

_I'll love you will every beat of my heart_

_And I swear_

I looked up at Paul when the course came on again and his blue eyes seemed to search through me.

_And I swear _

_By the moon and the stars _

_In the skies _

_I'll be there_

_And I swear _

_By the shadow by you side_

_I'll be there_

_For better or worse_

_Until deaths do us part_

_I'll love you will every beat of my heart_

_And I swear_

As the song ended and we broke apart I started to tell Paul about the pregnancy thing and I was going to get a pregnancy test to see if I was pregnant. When I heard Kelly Prescott's voice. "So you guys are finally dating?"

"No we aren't," I said before Paul's lips completed its answer that would probably be a yes. Well at this news Kelly just said "oh" and went off to her boyfriend of a year, Vincent Dexter.

Last year after she was kicked out of the popular group and Debbie took over she got to know a fan she had since kindergarten, which was Vince. Vince was not a bad guy; he is just the kind of guy that spends his life in a laboratory and that's why everyone but Kelly, Paul, CeeCee, Adam and me call him Dexter. Now he spends his days with Kelly and with the others in our group.

We call ourselves the mediator group because Paul and me are both shifters and some how Kelly somehow developed mediator powers when we had a fight last year. I'll explain a little later but Adam, CeeCee and Vince are just what we call normal people.

We don't know exactly how it happened but when we were fighting I felt a shock run through me and into Kelly and soon after that she saw her first ghost. We asked Dr. Slaski, Paul's grandfather, how this happened and he said somehow I pass part of my powers to Kelly. They are called half-shifters and they each have a certain power other than seeing ghost, in Kelly's case she can she the future. She sees images in her sleep and sometimes she even faints when a vision comes to her.

After Kelly left I turned to Paul and about to talk to him about what I wanted to tell him before Kelly interpreted me but Paul just said "Well I guess you still don't want a relationship with me," and turned around and walked off

I think I paid for that in the long run but I do really believe now that my life would be totally different if I had said yes. Yet I rather not think on that right now because I wouldn't change a thing.

Well prom after that was a boring. Debbie and Brad won prom king and queen and CeeCee and Adam cut me out of the picture after thing got romantic, for them anyways. After I got home I heard a strange noise upstairs and I went up to investigate. "Listen Lucifer, I say we got the wrong house and the mortals that do live here are going to freak when they see us." A squeaky voice said. I could hear a conversation on the other side of my door from the hallway.

"She lives in the house where that Spanish guy died," A deeper sort of scary voice spoke to the other voice. "We aren't going to leave until we are sure she is dead. Do you know what would happen if the prophecy comes true? We will be where we were before and The Man will control our every move. Shut up and listen you fool." The voice stop speaking and there was total silence. Next I knew the door flung open and I was looking into a hard handsome face.

He looked very handsome to be honest. He had short black hair with black eyes. His skin was white almost like snow. Yet his face was hard and looked very angry. As soon as he looked at me, my back to the floor facing up to his with my eyes filled with fear, his face has a cold, hard smile. "See Demon, I told you it was her." He said in the deep voice I heard through the door. I could see right behind him was a short pudgy man with a totally look of shock. I knew his name was Lucifer. Is he the devil? I thought in my mind. "No Beautiful, I'm not the devil, the Devil is only what you mortals call destruction to your human race. Before you think it, darling, I can read your mind and smell your fear." He said. And he laughed because I think he saw my look of surprise.

"Don't fear beauty, I'll kill you fast. You will barely feel a thing." As he leaned forward towards my body I tried to move but I couldn't even move my fingers. From the look on my face he could tell I was struggling and he let out another cold hard laugh but even though he laughed that didn't stop him from his task, which was killing me.

He almost did kill me but that was until Jesse materialized right in the hallway. All this was way too much for me so I fainted and when I woke up Jesse was standing looking down at me with a golden light outlining him. He was moving on. As he was fading away I heard him say in a distant voice that seemed a million miles away "I will always love you Susannah and I will be gone but still there with you," after that said he vanished.

Even though people have been warning me about this and it would have to happen sometime I could let this happen. I did what first came to mind. I shifted. When I opened my eyes I saw the familiar fog all around me. I looked down the hall looking towards the light and I saw Jesse. I quickly got up and ran to stop him but as I got closer he started to grow smaller and smaller. When I got to him he looked like a five-years-old Paul. When I touch him he turned around and look at me. An identical pair of emerald eyes looked through my soul.

"Who are you?" I asked. My voice trembled. Could I be pregnant? Is this my future child? All these questions ran through my head as he just kept staring at me. "Answer me." I said my voice getting louder because I wanted answers. His eyes never left my face when he lifted his arms and pointed to my stomach. His lips curled into the gin that seems to haunt my dreams, nightmares, and life as realization slipped into me as I got the meaning of his actions this is my son. Next thing I knew I was in my bed alone in my sorrows. Jesse is gone forever.

"Mom, did you hear me?" I said to my mother. I just told her about the life that is growing inside of me.

"Darling, I'm disappointed but not mad. Oh no not a bit mad just disappointed," Mom said stumbling and talking fast. When Mom starts to talk fast you know something is bothering her but when she stumbles, well you don't want to know. "Wait let me start again. See you are an adult and you have to make adult choice in your life. See you made a choice and I will stick by you always it's just that I think you should have waited and get a proper education and live a little before you-well- made love and have s big responsibly like a baby."

"I know Mom that's why I came to you. I came because I'm scared to be a mother at 18-" I told my mother. I truly told her because I was scared and I needed help and someone other than CeeCee or Kelly to stand beside me. I wanted to talk to her before the guys came home. Well one thing went wrong in my perfect plan. The guys came home.

"A what at 18?" I heard Andy's upset voice came from behind along with Brad's "You are so busted." And Jake's "You got knocked up?" and David's "Oh no"

"Now Andrew, Susie made a adult choice because she is an adult." Mom said trying to keep calm by repeating the adult thing over and over. Well it seems Andy thought I wanted to have sex or something but no that I was actually pregnant because the whole house went crazy.

Well an hour later Paul sat down with me trying to clam Andy down from his cussing attack and, well lets just say it wasn't working. It did work sort of when Paul said, "First off this is all my fault because I have a major hormone problem, damn my hormones, and we will handle this Mr. Ackerman after we get married." I think he tried to put the hormone thing for good measures and it did work on my mom. She is his for life.

"You better freaking marry her you-" well lets just cut it off there. I'm trying to keep it still rated PG-13 not R.

"No I'm not marring Paul. I don't even like him," I said I am totally up for negotiations but marring Paul is where I put my foot down

"Suze you can't hate Paul you have to like him a little you had sex with him and think about it darling. Paul is being very responsible. Most boys will either doubt the baby is theirs and leave you with all the responsibility. Also think about you and the baby. It will be better for you so you wont have to take care of the baby and being Married will just be better for the baby," Mom said with Paul shaking his head that says you are totally right Mrs. Ackerman.

"Mom it is really actually bad for the child if we get married," I said. It actually is because if the parents don't like each other than they would fight and put their child in a bad environment. Well I was going to tell Mom this I heard Paul's voice come in my head. _Suze how are you going to explain that one, I'm in love with a ghost and Paul left me in another dimension? Suze you haven't even told her about how you can see ghost let alone your other reasons you hate me. They're just unbelievable._

I turned over to Paul and saw him staring at me. I wasn't surprise me because the only way to read and talk in someone's mind is by staring directly at them. I kept my eyes on Paul and told my mother "Even if I like Paul a little we could still give the child a bad environment. I just think that we should not marry but we can get to know each other better and maybe in the future we can marry or get together. I just think we shouldn't get married now because if we don't work out the child will have to be between us in a nasty divorce." I think that little speech clamed people down a bit and Andy wasn't that worried I think because I'm thinking about this all the way through.

Well over the next 6 months Paul and me devoted our time with each other and preparing for the baby. I was also waited hand and foot. See like this one time I wanted I ice cream.

"Paul, I wants some more ice cream," I said I had just finished my double chocolate syrup ice cream that was in a huge plastic bowl.

"Suze I think you have had enough ice cream for now. I think you should have carr-" Paul stopped when he saw my evil glare." I want some ice cream," I said in a low mean voice. See men you have to give the pregnant woman anything she wants because we all go through some major mood swings and you want to keep us as happy or you'll be hurt.

Well I got what I wanted and I was happy. Soon after I gave Paul the mean stare and the mean voice he got up so quickly the chair fell over and he said as he went running in the kitchen "Do you want chocolate or vanilla?"

When I was a week over due I felt a sharp pain in my side and belly. Three hours later I was crying happy tears as I held me beautiful boy in my hands and my family and friends surrounding me waiting for a turn to hold him. That night I had my first dream that seem so real.

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Egypt 400bc 

_The flames rose high and higher still. An emerald-eyed woman had a tear run down her face but she wiped it away and quickly lit the candles around the burning man. She started the spell to keep them together forever. She said the words…_

Now that you are died 

_**Before the vows to be said**_

_**We been in love since we met**_

_**But now my face is wet**_

_**We were meant to be **_

_**If only they could see**_

_**The power that we hold, **_

_**Is more than they had told**_

_**They were full of fear**_

_**At the sight in the mirror **_

_**At what we had become**_

_**Our hearts had a beat to only one drum**_

_**We will be one**_

_**No matter what they had done**_

_**Many, through out time, will try**_

_**The price is high**_

_**True love will win**_

_**Just like it had been**_

_**Just me and you**_

_**It will be as good as new**_

_**Now as the flames eat your flesh **_

_**I will try my best**_

_**For us to be together again**_

_**And you'll have a hand to lend**_

_**The love between you and me **_

_**Is deeper than the deep blue sea**_

_**I'll always love you **_

_**And that is true**_

_**We were to be together **_

_**Through out any weather**_

_**We will bind everything they tore**_

_**Forever, forever more

* * *

**_

A/N thank you thank you. We worked hard with this chapter and we wish you would review. Please please please review we like to hear what you have to say no matter what. You can say we suck and we will be ok we will work on it more. So if you don't like it we want to know and if you do like it we would love to know.


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